Round Two

Posted on Sun Apr 5th, 2026 @ 2:04pm by Captain Joshua Young [Taylor] & Lieutenant Commander Tate Sullivan Ph.D.

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Counseling Offices
Timeline: M
4266 words - 8.5 OF Standard Post Measure

Josh stood outside of Tate's Sullivan's office. he had already spoken to the yeoman at the desk and told her of his appointment, now he waited. This was his follow-up session with Counselor Sullivan and while he still wasn't all that comfortable with being seen by a counselor he had to admit he liked Tate. She was warm and compassionate and she seemed to truly care about his well being. Yet, he still missed Anna tremendously, her fire and drive and unique sense of humor along with her support, companionship and of course love.

The doors to Tate’s office slid open, the sensors having picked up Josh‘s presence outside her door. Sometimes people preferred to press the chime to announce their presence, but in case there was some hesitation, after about 20 seconds, the doors automatically opened to admit the person identified as Tate’s next arrival. Sullivan didn’t always use this, depending on the person, as she believed in the importance of giving people autonomy, but for repeat clients, this often was the gentle nudge they needed to follow through.

Tate stood from her desk upon seeing the familiar face. “Hello again.“

Josh entered Tate's office, "Hello again counselor, I thought I would come pay you another visit." He stated as he moved to a chair in front of her desk and sat down. "I thought we still had unfinished business to discuss and well, here I am." He was quiet for a few seconds before adding, "Are you surprised that I came back for another visit?" A trace of a smile appearing on his face.


Tate smiled. “I’m glad to see you. How have you been?“. Sullivan recalled Josh was still grieving and had agreed to at least start eating and taking better care of himself in the wake of his loss. She wondered if he was here to report on his progress or to share something else.

"A good question. Direct and to the point. "I think I am doing better. I'm eating. I still miss Anna terribly. It is like I have this huge empty spot inside me. I try not to dwell on it but it is hard especially at night. Its then that the walls seem to close in." He looked across the open space at Tate. "I miss just being able to talk to her. That's when the loneliness is the worst."

Tate nodded sympathetically. She believed counseling could help people manage grief, but she knew better than to think there was an easy or quick fix to those feelings. “What would you tell her and what do you think she would say back to you she could?“

"What would I tell her?" Josh repeated. "I'd tell her how much I love and miss her. How much I miss just having her here to talk to or just us sitting together and not saying a word. How much she meant to me. As to what Anna would say, I hope she would say she loves and misses me. That misses our time together as well." Josh replied firmly.

“Do you have any reason to think she would say anything else?“ Sullivan asked. She was curious as to why he only mentioned he hoped Anna would speak to him with love and kindness.

"None at all Counselor. I mean, I know she would say more, like get on with your life. How am I doing. That sort of stuff. We had a good, loving relationship we were best friends. We could get into arguments but they usually passed pretty quickly." Josh replied.

“Your relationship sounds wonderful,“ Tate replied with a smile. “You said she would probably tell you to get on with your life. Was this something the two of you previously talked about, the possibility of either of you passing on?“

"It was wonderful." Josh answered and then added, "No." Josh replied sadly. "We never talked about it. What we talked about was retiring from the Corps, finding a place of our own, living our lives and eventually starting a family. But that's all gone by the books now.”

Sullivan nodded. “Not only do we mourn the people we lose, we also mourn the life we would’ve had. I know her death is a seismic event in your life. I’m wondering if you’ve experienced anything that ever so slightly mirrors your sense of feeling lost? Might those experiences help give you some insight into how to get through it?”

Josh didn't rush an answer, Tate was right, Anna's death was a major upheaval in his life, one he was still trying to deal with. After a few seconds he replied "I've had other marines die in action but nothing that has affected me like Anna's death has." He admitted.

“ Her loss can’t compare,“ Tate agreed with a nod, “but I know those other losses were hard for you too. Besides her support, what else helped you through it?”

Josh thought on Tate's question, Anna had been a huge factor in helping him deal with the loss of other marines as she was a marine and they both understood what that meant. After a few seconds he had an answer. "Captain Richardson. He's not just my commanding officer he is a friend a good one. He helped me then and now with Anna's death."

“Talking to friends and colleagues is one of the best things someone can do when coping with a difficult challenge, especially within Starfleet. Is there anyone else you talked with or anything else you found helpful?”

Josh nodded as he thought on Tate's question. After a few seconds a grin began to slowly spread across his face. "There is someone else who has helped me a great deal in dealing with Anna's death." He admitted.

“Oh? You’re under no obligation to tell me who it is, but do you think talking with this person might help you feel less alone?“

"Oh, I understand but I would like to tell you. This person needs to know their help hasn't gone unnoticed or unappreciated." Josh replied evenly.

Sullivan nodded. “Grief can feel so overpowering, but it’s good to take some time to focus on the tools and people that make it a little bit easier.“

Josh nodded his head in agreement. "Grief was crippling for me. It is still hard for me but not as debilitating as before. The person I referenced earlier is you counselor. You have no idea how much your advice and keen insight have helped me, so I thank you for all you have done and are doing."

Tate was genuinely touched by Josh's kindness, and though she didn't do this work for personal praise, it was always nice to be appreciated. "You're welcome," Sullivan replied sincerely. "though to be clear, I'm just a cheerleader. You are making the choice every day to use the tools we talk about, and that's something no amount of encouraging words can make happen. While we're on the subject of gratitude, I would be remiss if I didn't thank you. Your efforts to keep us all safe allow me to do what I do, and the physical and emotional cost of your work does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. I think that's why it's so important to take time to feel things and not rush the healing process - you matter - and no one believes anyone's well-being is expendable."

Josh's eyes were filled with sincere appreciation at Tate's words. He spoke slowly, evenly emotion creeping into his words as he did. "I think we both know you are more than a cheerleader counselor, much more. Your support, your confidence and belief in me has made this journey much less difficult knowing I have you in my corner." He paused for a moment before addressing Tate's thanks. "Like you counselor , I don't do it for the praise. I do it because I care about you and all the others aboard the Elysium and keep you all safe to the best of my ability. It is what I have been trained to do and I take it very seriously. I also agree no one is expendable. We all have worth.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that, Josh. I know things haven’t been easy for you of late, and I think it’s important to keep in mind that you’re going to continue to experience ups and downs. There’s no straight line through grief for everyone. Reflecting on your progress so far, what do you think you’re doing well and what do you think you need to work on?“

Josh didn't rush an answer, he thought on what Tate had asked him. After a few moments he answered her, "I think I'm doing a good job on expressing how I feel, not keeping my feelings bottled up inside me." He looked at Tate, "Night time is the worst, when I'm in my cabin, I think of Anna and how much I miss her, I try to occupy myself other ways but they are just temporary fixes at best."

Tate nodded, fully understanding there was nothng that could eliminate grief, only strategies to manage it better than others. "I'm pleased to hear you are expressing yourself more readily and are not keeping your feelings as bottled up. I also think it's good you're doing what you can to keep yourself occupied -- that's the key distinction, I think. If you were still resisting the idea of acknowledging and expressing your feelings, keeping yourself occupied would just be another effort to avoid reality. That you can acknowledge your feelings and then still choose to do things that benefit you or that you enjoy, even knowing it doesn't take all the hurt away, seems like a step in the right direction. I suppose the key question is, when the grief creeps in at night even after doing what you can to keep yourself occupied, how do you feel about that?" Sullivan wondered if Josh felt as overwhelmed and hopeless as he had before.

Josh considered Tate's question. After a moment he replied in measured tones. "I feel lost, that I wish I had someone to talk to like Anna. She was the best! We could sit and just talk even if we disagreed on something we could still talk and not take it personally. I miss not having that someone. So, sometimes I just talk to Anna. That helps makes her feel closer and I like that feeling. Other times I just sit and find a book to read and think Anna is just in the other room and that helps with the grief. I manage it better. The pain isn't as debilitating as it once was. I can shoulder my way through it and still function as well as do my job."

"It sounds like you're working your way through," Tate answered. "I think it's important to remember, the goal is progress, not perfection. There are also going to be times when it seems like you're regressing, but I hope you'll remember in those moments it doesn't mean you're failing or you'll always be this unhappy, it just means this is challenging and your reactions are human."

Josh nodded at Tate's gentle reminder. "I appreciate that Counselor. I'm sure I'll have to be reminded several times as there are periods that seem so bleak, it is a challenge to get past them. However with these sessions and your support and guidance, I can say they are getting less and less."

"That's good to hear," Sullivan replied. "So, any other goals you're working on now that you're coping better little by little?"

Josh hesitated for the briefest moment before replying. "I'm trying to get the nerve up to get back into the dating process but it's harder than I thought it would be."

"Harder in what way?" Tate asked. She imagined Josh was referring to feeling comfortable emotionally with the idea of dating again, but she didn't want to assume.

Josh looked at her, "I think you know but since you asked I will tell you. Hard in asking someone out for a date and even before doing that, trying to determine if they like you well enough to go out on a date. Anna and I were together for a long time, there was no guesswork, we just clicked and I miss that." he admitted.

"Is it possible you're not giving yourself enough credit for the things you did before you and Anna knew each other so well? I'm thinking there was still a time, no matter how short, when you had to figure out when to make a move or if the connection was strong enough to move to the next level. Am I off-base?"

Josh shook his head. "You aren't off base at all. I'm sure there was as well, I just don't remember it and to be honest, I don't want to end up looking foolish if I had misinterpreted the signs. A classic catch-22 if you will." Josh finished up.

"Feeling foolish is an uncomfortable feeling," Tate acknowledged, "but I think we can ease the feeling if we challenge the expectations underlying it. We label ourselves fools after the fact, as if we should have somehow known everything we needed to know before we even asked or tested our theories. If that were possible, or even the actual case, however, we wouldn't have needed to test the waters to begin with. We blame ourselves for the outcome rather than celebrating the effort. I think it was Thomas Edison who said, 'I haven't failed, I've just learned 1000 ways it won't work.' Maybe it was 10,000 ways, but I think you can get the gist, yeah?"

Josh smiled, a honest to goodness smile. Tate was always positive, always looking for the brighter side in any situation. "I do get the gist and I can agree with it even if it makes me look foolish. Something I am hoping to avoid." He paused and looked at Tate, silent for a few seconds before speaking. "So, to get this straight, it is your opinion that I take the plunge and ask this person, I like out on a date?"

“What do you think should be your next step?“ Tate knew it was best to keep the ball in his court. Even though it was natural for people to ask what she thought was best when they were grappling with a decision, it was important she help him find his own solution.

Josh didn't hesitate with an answer, "To take the plunge and ask the person out on a date." He answered, "I mean she can only say yes or no." he blurted out looking back at Tate.

"Well, then," Tate replied, her grin ever expanding, "what are you waiting for?"

Josh eyed her, he had the distinct impression Tate knew exactly what was going on. *Oh well" He thought, "Might as well ask.* He smiled back at her, "Right. You are absolutely right." He took a deep breath. "Counselor, er Tate would you like to go out on a date with me?"

Outwardly, Tate’s expression didn’t change, but inwardly, she was genuinely surprised. Should she have seen that coming? She didn’t think so, but a small part of her now felt guilty she had been so encouraging, even though she knew she sincerely hadn’t had any idea at all she was the target of Josh’s interest. She paused, genuinely not wanting to mess this up. “I like you very much, Josh. You’re kind, smart, and so very thoughtful. I’m sincerely flattered you think of me as a worthy potential date. I’d be lying if I didn’t share that as much as I Iike you, it wouldn’t feel right for me to date someone who not even five minutes ago was my kind and wonderful client. I hope you know that has nothing to do with you and everything to do with me. I know what courage it took for you to do this, and I hope we can continue to talk, if you feel up for it?”

Josh was genuinely and totally disappointed by Tate's answer and cursed himself for being a fool and thinking she would want to go out on a date with him. The seconds slowly dragged by as he looked at her, his face an impassive mask. His anger flared but he battled it down, not giving into it though he was so tempted to. Finally after what seemed like an eternity but was only a few seconds he spoke, his voice tightly controlled and even. His eyes locked on her hers. "I see." He replied using as few words as necessary. "Talk? What is there for us to talk about counselor? How foolish I am, what a joke I am for thinking you would be interested in me as a person and not a client. Just what would we talk about?" He repeated.

She was afraid she was going to hurt him, and seeing confirmation of that wasn't easy even though she knew she was doing the right thing. Like anything else in therapy, this was an opportunity for healing, if handled delicately. "Did you hear me say I wasn't interested in you, Josh?"

Josh sighed and took a deep breath and let it out slow between his teeth. "Look Tate, let's not play word games okay? You said you didn't want to date me as it wouldn't be right and no you didn't specifically say you weren't interested in me. However interested in me as a friend? A patient? A case study you can write up?"

“I’m interested in you as a person, someone I like very much,“ Tate replied calmly. “That’s true whether I remain your therapist or not. It’s equally true I am your therapist, and I can’t ignore that or take those responsibilities lightly, no matter how I feel.”

"And I haven't asked you to ignore or take your responsibilities lightly. As for liking me, you say you like me very much just not enough to go out on a date. Sounds like I'm getting mixed signals here."

"I'm sorry, it isn't my intention to send mixed signals, Josh," Tate offered sincerely. "I do like you very much, but I wouldn't feel comfortable ending our therapeutic relationship just so we could go out on a date. Everything I know and like about you I've discovered while in the process of being your therapist. It wouldn't feel right to me to then use that knowledge of you to further a connection outside our professional relationship. To be absolutely clear, you haven't done anything wrong. My comfort level with this has everything to do with my beliefs and nothing to do with you. I would say the same to anyone else I was counseling, I promise."

Josh was silent as he wasn't convinced. He didn't think Tate was lying per se, he just felt there was more to what she was saying and he didn't want to keep talking about it. Bottom line was he struck out, plain and simple. "Okay Tate, I get it. Let's stop talking about it. I just don't measure up."

Rather than point out once more she said nothing of the kind, she offered, "Have you considered the possibility that it's me who isn't going to measure up? What do you know about me as a person that you didn't learn from our time in therapy?"

Josh looked, no he stared at her. "No, I haven't considered it Tate because there is no way you don't measure up. I know more than you think I know and what I know is that the woman sitting across from me, is one on the kindest, smartest and most insightful people I have ever met. She constantly sees good in others but overlooks her own goodness, her own strengths. She is a lady in every sense of the word." He finished with a small smile gracing his lips.

Tate noticed Josh didn’t answer her second question but she patiently persisted. “Flattery aside,” she began with a smile, “name something about me you didn’t learn from a therapy session.”

Josh didn't miss a beat. "I know about your childhood and your mother." He replied simply.

"Oh?" Tate replied, her tone conveying genuine curiosity. "I can't recall talking about my childhood or my mother with you. Am I forgetting something?"

Josh just offered a cryptic smile by way of an answer.

Tate grew uneasy. What had started as a sensitive conversation seemed to have turned troubling. “Where did you get your information, Josh?” Her tone wasn’t angry, but it was firm.

Josh's smile faltered, "Whoa Tate, I didn't mean to ruffle your feathers. I just listened to some of your staff talking. I'm sorry, forget I mentioned it."

Tate inwardly wondered why her staff would know anything about her childhood, let alone why they'd be discussing it in any place that others could have overheard. She made a mental note to talk to her staff about not talking about anyone's personal details where just anyone could overhear. The crew needed to trust the counseling staff would keep their details private. For now, she focused on Josh, "My larger point is, everything you know about me and feel about me comes from my time as your therapist and everything I know about you comes from the same. That kind of relationship is special and it would be unethical of me to use what I learned about you in therapy to benefit me in a relationship that becomes personal. I have faith that we can continue to work together in therapy, Josh, but only you can decide if you feel comfortable with that now. It's not something you have to decide now, though, and it's okay to take time to think on it, okay?"

Josh was silent for several seconds as he thought on what Tate had said. e had to admit she had a point though he still wasn't happy with the result. "Yeah okay Tate. I will think on it and let you know." He promised before continuing. "I just feel like I got dumped and we haven't even been on a date."

"I get that," Tate acknowledged. "I feel like I've crushed your heart and we haven't even been on a date. I hate that I've hurt you." She paused, then offered, "For what it's worth, Josh, whatever you decide about continuing therapy, I think it's great you could be so forthright with me, even when what you needed to express was hurt and perhaps a tad bit of anger directed my way. If you can weather challenges in this room with this relationship, I have every confidence you have what it takes to navigate all sorts of relationships outside this room. It's honestly why I protect my connections with counseling clients so fiercely - I want to give them safe opportunities to try things out here and to practice meeting challenges in this relationship so they can take what they learn and apply it with others. I wouldn't be honoring that promise if I suddenly pulled the safety net from under you and started expecting you to be a romantic partner with all the expectations that come with it. Does that make sense?"

Josh sat silently, like he was made if stone as Tate talked and gave her reasons for her decisions. After she finished a slow smile crossed his face. "Yes, it makes sense as much as I hate to admit it, it makes sense and I'm not really mad at you Tate, I'm mad with the decision, the outcome.. I apologize if I said anything to hurt you." He stopped and leaned back in his chair before speaking again, "I hope I haven't screwed up our relationship."

“Not at all,” reassured Tate, “at least as far as I’m concerned. I’m not hurt by anything you’ve said and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to be honest with me. I hope you will continue to be so. There may come a point when your feelings keep us from making the progress we could make otherwise, but if that happens, I’ll be upfront with you and we’ll make sure you get a new counselor. That wouldn’t be a punishment,” Tate pointed out. “it’s about making sure you can continue to heal without any unnecessary obstacles in the way. You deserve to be able to say whatever you need without any other influences.”

Josh nodded, "I don't know if I could be as understanding as you are or if my hide would be as thick if our roles were reversed. I guess that is why you are the counselor and I'm a Marine." He felt a smile tug at the corners of his mouth, "I'm nothing if not honest. That will never change and thank you for your honesty as well. It is appreciated and I do respect it. For what it is worth, I don't want a new counselor now or in the future. We started this together, we'll see it through together." He said decisively and with conviction.

Tate’s smile matched Josh’s. “I’m game if you are.”

Josh's smile mirrored Tate's own. " Excellent. Onward and Upward." He replied simply.