What Keeps You Up At Night

Posted on Fri Nov 6th, 2026 @ 5:32pm by Civilian Teevs Dosivi

Mission: MISSION 0 - History Speaks
Location: Dosivi Quarters
Timeline: June 15th 2398
1106 words - 2.2 OF Standard Post Measure

Teevs was sweating. He shifted uncomfortably under his sheets, eyes shut but his expression far from any kind of peaceful sleep. His bedroom was thick with his laboured breathing. With a gasp, he jolted awake, chest heaving as he quickly sat up. A shiver wrapped around his body like an unwelcome blanket, and for several long seconds he remained still in bed as he got his bearings. Elysium. He was on the Elysium. He wasn’t in the detention centre anymore. He couldn’t quite convince his racing heart of that.

Glancing down, he saw his hands were shaking. His whole body trembled. He felt like he was going to pass out, or be sick. Maybe both. He left the bed and shuffled in the dim light to the bathroom. His breath echoed in the small space as he gripped the counter’s edge. A cold sweat covered the back of his neck. He turned on the water before splashing his face, rubbing his cheeks with his hands for a long minute.

When he'd sufficiently cleaned his face, he left the bathroom and sat on the sofa, eyes absently watching the stars streak by as he waited for his pulse to return to something normal. The lights remained off. His shirt clung to his clammy skin. It felt like the only thing he could do, the only thing worth doing, was let his thoughts occupy his mind. There were no chores to do. No cargo to sort. No star charts or alien databases to prepare for someone. Kerilia was asleep, so he didn't even have to be a parent. Almost everything that could serve as a distraction, including their photo album, was left behind on Niea IV. Was it all destroyed? Confiscated?

His thoughts were loud. His thoughts were angry.

He was angry that Ailova endangered his daughter. That was something he could never forgive her for. He remembered the cold indifference as she spoke to the guards who had taken him and Addison. Everything that followed --the abuse he experienced, the harm Addison faced, the rejection Kerilia had to live with-- was her fault. Teevs had never seen himself as a violent person, but if he ever saw his older sister again, he was certain that he would kill her. He wanted her to feel every ounce of pain she caused, to make her feel something for what she did.

He was angry at Lady Sama. Her laws alienated the Kavai in the name of self defense. Her laws created a system where innocent people could be arrested. Her laws reduced his own daughter to nothing. How could someone look at a child and decide she didn't deserve to live? His gut boiled with rage, but it also choked on fear. Sama was the reason why Elysium crew were arrested and got hurt. She made him feel helpless in a way he never imagined.

He was angry at Saphse. That one hurt. He slid his head into his hands. Kerilia being half-Kavai meant one of two realities: his wife cheated on him, abandoned their promise to remain loyal, to have relations with a Kavai; or Saphse was a Kavai and lied to him about it. Both made him want to throw up. Both stained every good memory he had of her. She avoided talking about her family. Was that because they were Kavai? Her pregnancy with Kerilia was longer than expected. She was particular about appearances. Little things that he'd dismissed now resurfaced with doubt. It almost felt better to believe that she was unfaithful, because it pardoned any potential negligence on his part, but then it implied that Kerilia wasn't really his daughter. If he’d known back when they met...

Teevs shook his head. He loved his wife. How could he think that about her??

The stars continued to streak by.

He removed his face from his hands and checked the time. He’d been sitting there for an hour. It didn't feel like it, but then again he hadn't really been watching. Standing, Teevs quietly went to Kerilia’s room to check on her. The first couple nights were rough on both of them, and she could only sleep if he was nearby. He had sat with her until she fell asleep, and only retreated to his own bed once he was certain she wouldn’t wake up. The doors to their respective bedrooms were left open, mostly an invitation to seek comfort. He paused in the doorway to Kerilia’s room, watching her sleep.

Without really thinking about it, he found himself staring at the dermaglyph on her forehead. That single mark transformed what should have been a happy occasion into what was undoubtedly the hardest moment of their lives. Thanks to... a secret, his daughter had no home. No family. Even the purple animal plushie that she kept all these years because it was from her mother was gone, and its replicated replacement sat on the dresser instead of in her arms.

What frustrated him was the lack of resolution. Ailova and Sama were on Niea IV. Saphse was dead. Evidence that either exonerated or condemned them was left behind on a planet that didn’t care if he and his daughter lived or died. That anger had no place to go.

Worst of all, he was angry at himself. How could he not see the signs? What could he have done differently? His mind desperately searched through what he knew of the Kavai. He knew Kavai children and Lonian children were nearly indistinguishable before puberty, but he had no information about a child from both species. It just... wasn’t done. They didn't exist. It was forbidden.

He'd never felt so lost.

Teevs forced himself to look away from the dermaglyph and at the rest of her sleeping face. Kerilia hadn’t changed. She was the same person. He thought back to the conversation with Addison, how he’d told her that he wouldn’t turn on his own daughter. That he’d try to change for her. In hindsight, it felt like an overwhelming promise. There were years of belief to undo, decades of prejudice all because of a dermaglyph. Despite his efforts, his eyes found that crescent shape again. He hated this version of her. He hated that that was the first thing he thought whenever he looked at his daughter. Reaching up, he pinched the bridge of his nose, then sighed and left her room.

Where would he even start?